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Labor Negotiations

I thought for sure that the five deer we saw sleeping in our backyard yesterday morning were a sign from above that Shrimpy was arriving. My theory was that Mother Nature sensed the impending arrival of our wee one and sent all creatures great and small to welcome it. Or, five deer representing all creatures great and small. Whatever.

So, I spent the day cleaning the entire house, doing laundry, showering, shaving, moisturizing, meticulously blow-drying my hair, and every other beauty preparation I could dream up (including cleaning every crevice of both ears with a Q-tip and hydrogen peroxide). I even went and got a cheap manicure. It was like I was getting ready for a date! Needless to say, I got stood up.

Today's plan includes hanging some shelves in the nursery, walking around Lake Harriet in an attempt to induce labor, further verbal negotiations with the fetus (this mostly consists of me looking at my belly and shrieking, "Shrimpy, please! Come out!!!"). When all of that fails to produce any results, I plan to flop my body on the basement couch in defeat and watch the Lord of the Rings trilogy with a bag of microwave popcorn. Viggo cures all.

Tomorrow is my 31st birthday and for the first time in my life I haven't put much (if any) thought into it. I haven't planned a party. I haven't sent out countdown emails to all my friends and relatives. I haven't even publicly reminded anyone that I have an Amazon wishlist for your convenience! Weird.

Posted January 15, 2006 10:49 AM | On This Day: 2004 2003