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The P Files: Week 40

Dear Baby,

Hurry up. The doctor said that if you're not here by Monday, January 16th (which, incidentally, is my 31st birthday), she's going to induce me later in the week. Now, I don't know about you, but I don't want to have labor induced. I'd rather you just came out when you were ready. So if you know what's good for you, you'll get ready real soon.

But, if you come tonight, could you wait until after Project Runway?

Your Mom

P.S. Do you think it's a coincidence that my birthday is REALLY SOON and I just spotted a Hello Kitty bumblebee telephone at Target last night that would go perfectly with the Hello Kitty phone I already have?! Me neither! We're going to get along just fine, you and I.

Posted January 11, 2006 5:35 PM | On This Day: 2005 2004



Dear Meghan,

Please pass along the following eviction notice to your baby:

Dear Baby,

You're two days past due and therefore GET OUT ALREADY. We want to see you and find out if you're a boy or a girl and what your name is and all of that kind of stuff. SHEESH.

Your Mommy's Friend

P.S. - Life lesson #1: Life lessons come hard. That said, stop mooching off the host body and join THE REAL WORLD, slacker.

P.P.S. - We love you.


Thanks, girlie! We can't wait to meet lil' Shrimpers.


Ah, here's hoping that Shrimpy makes his/her arrival soon!