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The P Files: Week 19

I'm still not really showing yet, or at least not in that nice roundbelly way. I keep feeling these odd little jumps or pokes in my stomach. I think it's shrimpy moving around, but who can tell? I also get weird pains that are apparently caused by my muscles and ligaments loosening up and getting ready for the big showdown. Baby vs. my body. Winner takes all.

The old house is finally on the market, which means we are now (trying to) focus on the new place. There's so much we need to do, and a fair amount of stuff we need to buy -- like some area rugs, dining room chairs, nightstand lamps, not to mention BABY CRAP.

Man, I thought the wedding industry was a racket? They got nothing on the new baby industry. There is so much stuff out there that they are trying to convince people they must have. Like a diaper wipe warmer. I'm sorry, but no. Our baby is going to learn early on that the world is full of cold asswipes.

Posted August 16, 2005 9:19 PM



we have the wipe warmer.. we'll show you how we use it, it will change your mind.. we love ours. We make our own wipes and use the warmer to store them.. and I really prefer our wipe over those crappy ones you buy at the store.

Wipe warmer! Convert, you heathen! Since we went wipe warmer, we don't have huge screaming, wrestling, thrashing poop wipe sessions. Poopy babies are strong, mobile, and POOPY, so anything I can do to get them to sit still, I will!

WIPE WARMER!!!!!! Are you kidding?!?!?! listen the Navy gives my free sandpaper i'll send you some, my schmuck of a nephew isn't going to bee some Sally Sue pussy foot jerk ass! No one ever wiped my ass and i turned out fine, sure i have hemoroids but i turned out fine.

WIPE WARMER!!! What the hell is next, a self-cleaning or self-disciplining child? To paraphrase the inimitable (and prophetic) Ike Eisenhower, "Beware the military-industrial complex," "Beware the matrominial-procreation complex." It's a tough world out there--get use to it. A cold butt wipe is only the beginning.
I would also add, "beware of the Precious Child Syndrome (PCS)" It's everywhere.

Mom's right, a wipe-warmer wouldn't be tolerated in Eisenhower's America, and McInerny's don't tolerate any baby ass-coddling.

Improper use of apostrophe, I know.