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Final Fantasy
I'm such a little stress monkey, and it seems that everyone knows it. Last night, Jack asked me how work was going. I replied, "Stressful," and he said, "Self-imposed?"
It does seem true that in my life, there's nearly always something stressing me out. I always have a list of things to do, things that must get done, things that I really should be doing. In part, it's a good habit because it ensures that I'm always making progress, learning new things, getting things done, moving toward a goal. In part, it's not a good habit because I end up feeling pressure over really silly things like painting my nails. (I wish I was kidding.)
The problem is that my ultimate goal is unattainable - I think that in the back of my mind I'm hoping that someday my life will run like clockwork and every day I'll wake up with the sun, run 3 miles, practice yoga, eat a breakfast full of whole grains and antioxidant-rich fruits, go to a job where I am instrumental in some major technological or world-changing endeavor and where I am constantly mentally stimulated and I drink 6-8 glasses of water, return to a spotlessly clean and decorated home, eat a balanced dinner, read a book, knit a sweater, write letters to all my friends, volunteer for an arts organization and a children's shelter, and enjoy a happy, harmonious marriage with my adoring husband with whom I generate hardly any waste because we compost, reuse, and recycle. In this fantasy I can afford laser hair removal and I never have to shave my legs; I am also perfectly manicured, my hair looks great, and my vintage clothes are the envy of all. My skin is also flawless. The best part of this fantasy is that, because everything is so perfect, I also have time to just relax in my landscaped backyard with a magazine and a glass of iced tea.
I dunno, perhaps I need to lower my expectations of myself - and the world around me - just a hair.
Posted March 21, 2004 10:36 PM | On This Day: 2005 2003
if you have that iced Tea, then you have to drink another glass of water and the whole thing goes spinning out of control.. I thought you seemed to be doing pretty good at those things.. and by making those little changes you are changing the world around you. I think keeping your expectations high is good, just being able to look at the accomplishments you make and being comfortable and happy with those is the secret and knowing you can't achieve everything your set out to do.
Posted by: Bill on Mon Mar 22, 2004 | Replyreading that post stressed me out.
in fact, having all those expectations would probably indicate that you not only thrive on stress, your dream world would be built around stress.
If that's the case, you're probably already living your dream life -- we should all be so lucky!
Posted by: tortoise on Mon Mar 22, 2004 | Reply...and Bill, who says you can't achieve everything you set out to do? I think one can, barring physical impairments without a workaround, or relying on other peoples free will to suit your whimsy.
Posted by: tortoise on Mon Mar 22, 2004 | ReplyThere are only a few parts of the above "fantasy" that I think are particularly fantastic. I mean, you could do all those things, if you really wanted to... but who wants to? You probably wrote this post to procrastinate whatever it is that's really causing you all this stress... probably work. And whether you create it or not, stress is not something you should want in your life... at least not unless you're seriously masochistic, in my opinion.
Posted by: grid on Mon Mar 22, 2004 | Replyyeah, i'm not saying i like to be stressed, or even that my "fantasy" is really how I want my life to be. i'm just pointing out that i have this twisted version of "perfection" and I allow it to stress me out. i'm trying to stop, yo!
Posted by: meghan on Mon Mar 22, 2004 | ReplySimply and reduce clutter--let the energy flow.
Posted by: MrHockey on Tue Mar 23, 2004 | ReplySimplify and reduce clutter--let the energy flow.
Posted by: MrHockey on Tue Mar 23, 2004 | ReplyI hope I am not the only one laughing myself stupid over the irony of these last two posts by MrHockey....
Posted by: jack on Tue Mar 23, 2004 | ReplyThat cracked me up. We all have that fantasy. I'm gonna finally get back in shape and look like Sting and write symphonies and shit. It'll never happen.
Another word for self-imposed stress, though, is ambition, and that's not all bad. I'd rather do something and be frazzled than do nothing (like so many) and be complacent.
Posted by: lolife on Mon Mar 29, 2004 | Reply