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Top Ten

Top 10 signs that you don't have a job:

10. Your Netflix consumption jumps by 150%, including the ability to devour 6 hours worth of Sex & the City over a two-day period.
09. Your weekly calendar includes appointments like, "Read Harry Potter."
08. Your youngest brother calls at noon on a weekday to see if you'll go pick up tickets to The Matrix for him and two friends. You actually agree to do it.
07. You make a list of all flat surfaces in the house, and have plans to paint every single one.
06. You linger in the grocery aisles, wondering if Amy's Organic Puttanesca is really worth the price difference over Ragu. After inspecting your unemployment check, you consider buying no sauce at all in favor of mixing your own sauce with ingredients you already own (oregano and ketchup).
05. You have the time to investigate web stat mysteries such as, "Why am I getting so many referrals from a Ford Mustang discussion board?".
04. A trip to the Post Office is an occasion for lipstick.
03. You begin plotting ways to get knocked up, so that you have an excuse to be home during the day.
02. You have so much time to prepare for job interviews that you find yourself Googling every person you're meeting with at each company, then realize you could never reveal any information you've learned because what you've done is CREEPY.
01. You come thisclose to hanging up flyers at Kowalski's advertising your babysitting skills.

Posted November 14, 2003 7:26 PM | On This Day: 2005 2004

 

7 Comments

make it 11 signs:

You call up people you don't talk to enough, just to see how their pathetic lives are. Maybe invite them to a slam or something.

ahem.

12. You have plenty of time to come up with a funny top ten list.

13) You're actually able to clean the house.

14--> You finish your father's website...

15) You send cookies to your little sister at college.
16) Finish you father's website. There's a reason why you're the favorite child.

15) You send cookies to your little sister at college.
16) Finish you father's website. There's a reason why you're the favorite child.

I didn't realize that googling people's names was creepy? in fact, I google mine every once in a while just to see if there's anything good out there about me.

but i'm vain.