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Lying in Wait

It's pretty much official that I am now a suburbanite. No more Sex & the City urban bachelorette pad on the lake. Nope, now I'm in a house with a yard, and the ole ball and chain bossing me around.

My mom knows I'm moving in to his house, and has expressed her disapproval (in what, I must add, was a very constructive way). But my dad doesn't know yet, and I dread talking to him right now in a way that a 28-year-old probably shouldn't. But I can sense his dismay from the future and all the way across town. The air is thick with it, and it makes me sad. I truly like and respect my parents, and it's not fun to disappoint them. But how does one find balance with one's own decisions, versus what their parents want them to do? Between one's own morals and their parents'?

As my mother said, I'm an adult and I can do what I want, but I have to remember that my choices affect other people. Dealing with those effects are not always pleasant, I guess. Add to this the fact that I'm one of those people that always wants everyone to be happy, and the emotional fireworks are stunning. Seriously. Look at me funny right now, and I'll either burst into tears or punch you in the face. It's a crapshoot, really.

At any rate, I can't wait much longer to say something; it's starting to feel like a lie of omission. I hate unpleasant conversations, but I hate lying even more.

But, like I told Patrick, at least this might take the heat off him for the tattoo thing.

Posted June 23, 2003 10:55 PM | On This Day: 2002

 

13 Comments

Try not to worry about it too much. I remember when I told my parents that I was moving in with a girlfriend a few years ago. I was really nervous. My mom didn't love the idea, but was supportive. The bottom line is that we all have to make and live with our own decisions.

Welcome to the western suburbs!

Look at it this way - at least you're not telling them that you're moving in with you lesbian lover. That one always goes over so well...

And you *are* close to home - and I can't fault Jeremy much...he's a really decent guy, someone I'd be happy to have any of my kids move in with. You know...if they came home with someone like him, I mean; I don't mean him, specifically. Well, duh.

MJ - they're not "lesbian lovers" dummy - they're *roommates*! "Yeah, I'm just splitting the rent here..." Again, duh! :^)

Bwahahahahahahahahaha! The suburbs? Hahahahaha! Seriously though, you need to be a bit more a Zen about this. You feel what you feel, and your father will feel what he will feel, be true to that on both sides and common ground will be found where you both can meet.

At the end of the day your parents have to accept the fact that they didn't raise a dummy. They raised someone responsible and brilliant and sensitive and loving. All of those qualities play into decisions you make about who to invest your time in and who to love. That should give them comfort. Because of their profound influence on you, and the person they helped you to be, you found Jeremy. Thank your dad. And don't let what seems like initial disappointment get you down. They'll get over it.

Funny-I thought my parents were the only ones who had the forsight and courage to equip me with such an advanced sense of guilt.

A sense so powerful it can find you no matter where you hide, and beat you with a really heavy rock.

How many times have I heard the phrase "Do it for me, please?". How many times, even today, have I felt compelled to get their approvial for almost every purchase I've made for something over $100? Too many times to count.

Just hang in there babe. To quote from the fine film "Before Sunrise"-
"Everybody's parents fucked them up. Rich kids parents gave them too much. Poor kids, not enough. You know, too much attention, not enough attention. They either left them or they stuck around and taught them the wrong things."

You want to know something funny? Kinda neurotic? I'm really worried that I may have said something kind of insulting in this post or something. Not that it's a rational fear or anything. It's just a little something I like to call pre-guilt.

btw.

say it with me:
"I'm Good Enough, I'm Smart Enough, and Doggone It, People Like Me!"

Ah yes.. Dealing with the parental units. Take almost any big decision that you make for yourself, even one that you KNOW is a great decision and the absolute right one for you. Run it through the parent filter and what do you get? TaaaDaaaaa!!!

You are the poster child for pepto.

I feel your pain.

Parents... well, parent for life.

I think something kinda sorta like what happens when Bruce Banner gets zapped with gamma radiation also happens to most parents at the moment of conception. They suddenly get goinked with the with the "It is now my job to be shaping this little spud for the rest of my life" gene. It can never be turned off. It is destined to be hard wired into them from then on. However, you hold the ultimate gene switch off key. The tables can be turned COMPLETELY AND FOREVER with one little concept...actually one little word. You have the power to turn the the "rents" into a quivering mass of familial putty. Bendable and oh so mallable to your every whim.
Oh yes, they will grovel at your feet.....

The balance of power will shift to you....instantly

Yes!!!

All this can be yours..now if you only had the one word...

Don't despair. Because I love you and J, I will whisper that word to you here. The ultimate power of this word will be revealed to you the instant I utter it. It can be used as a carrot when the rents are being difficult or it can be used as a 500 billion ton mega nuclear bomb if the rents are being impossible. Simply put, no matter how you use it; battering ram, carrot, subtle hint, conversation deflector or outright bribe, this is the tool for you. Use it carefully ..but use it when it becomes needed.

Ready??

Remeber, you will owe me for this.

The word is............


grandchild.

BWahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaa

now I know why the air has bean so think around here, it isn't humidity its the tension beteween you and your parents... actually, my grandmother on my Moms side had a great out look on relationships.. I was involved in an interacial relationship and I introduced my girlfriend to my grandmother, who said (not to my face but to my mother) I grew up with different beliefs, the world is different now then when I was growing up.. the important thing is bills happiness, not my outdated beliefs. (by the way, this is in starck contrast to my other grandmother who openly weeped and said I was ruining my life to my face) Your parents should find happiness in your happiness.

I can't believe everyone is so supportive. Here you are living in Sin and people think everything is going to be fine!? Burning in hellfire for eternity is just fine!!?? You might as well have moved in with the devil himself.

Let's just say this sister: Get it over with! Everyone in the family knows about this except your FATHER. It's gonna leak in a matter of time.....He's going to POP A CORK no matter what. My kids are amazed he doesn't check your website. Or maybe he does and he's just sitting back in the weeds making you suffer. You made your bed, now lie in it!!!!!!!!!! Lovingly, Auntie

Your links say you don't love your Clark anymore!?!?! It hurts baby, it hurts. I wish you all the best with your new lover (tear, sniff).