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Family Hijinks

Sunday Dinner Conversation

Act One
We're talking about nightmares. My dad and I both tell stories of nightmares where you're trying to move, but can't, trying to scream, but can't.
Austin: I had a nightmare once when I was sleeping over here, in the basement. I saw a ghost.
Mom: ooh! Don't tell me about a ghost in this house.
Austin: Yeah, I opened my eyes and there was a white figure standing in front of me. Then, suddenly it disappeared.
Dad: It was your guardian angel.
Juggy: Maybe it was trying to save your life. Like maybe you were about to die from SIDS.
Me: Leave it to Austin to die of SIDS at 26.
Becca: They'd change the name to SADS.
*hysterical laughter*
Austin: You guys are mean.

Act Two
Dad: So, earlier today I'm telling your mom in a nice way that it's ironic that she gets Martha Stewart living, because she's the antithesis of Martha*. Martha is neat.
Me: Well, it was good of you to say that so nicely.

Act Three
Becca: The tip of my finger has been asleep for like two days.
Dad: You should have that looked at.

Act Four
We're talking about Rupert, one of my parents' cats. He likes to sit out on the sun porch, even during winter. He's got kind of a barncat mentality. Anyway, my parents have been letting him out on the sunporch for the last few months. Since it's so cold, no one really goes out there. However, my dad ventured out there the other day and it turns out Rupert has been going #2 all over the futon couch on the porch. No one can figure out why, since he's never out there for very long.
Me: You know, Martha Stewart says shit is the new throw pillow.

*For the record, this is not true. My mom is very artistic, a great cook and a great interior designer. She just tends to leave her shoes laying around and stuff. And since my dad is an ex-marine, this is major sloth.

Posted February 2, 2003 9:15 PM | On This Day: 2006 2004



I love your family..Never a dull moment.
I think you should all move back in and Let The Games Begin!

Doesn't Becca go visit factories with noxious chemicals?

Yeah. Explains a lot, doesn't it?

You should have Tina Fey's job. With a line like 'shit is the new throw pillow' -- you're a regular comic genius!!