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I'm obsessed with the idea

I'm obsessed with the idea of moving to Portland.

"So," you ask, "what's stopping you?"

"Well," I reply, after careful consideration, "there are many reasons. First, I really like Minneapolis. It's not too big, not too small. In the words of Baby Bear, 'It's just right.' Good music scene, nice culture. Horrifying weather, but you get used to it.

Second, I really like my family. Seriously. My brother is one of my best friends, my mom's totally rad, and where would I be without my dad to smack me back into line every once in a while?

Third, I really like my tribe. They have to be the greatest group of friends ever invented."

Okay, so we've now established a great list of reasons to stay in Minneapolis. So why am I still obsessed with leaving for Portland? I don't know, the conflict between staying or going seems to be breadth vs. depth. Is it more adventurous to see and experience lots of different things, or to spend time getting to know things, places or people deeply? Can you have both? Am I making up this bullshit conversation to cover up the fact that I'm chicken to leave or am I distracting myself with thoughts of moving instead of dealing with whatever it is that's dissatisfying about my life?

I don't want to be the kind of person that picks up and moves if things aren't going her way, but I also don't want to be the kind of person that can't leave her safety zone. Bah! I think too much...

Posted April 8, 2002 8:55 PM | On This Day: 2003