« #283 on The List of | Main | File under: Too much information »

There are many reasons why

There are many reasons why it's a good idea to date people you work with:

1. Other coworkers will certainly enjoy the palpable sexual tension that now infuses every staff meeting. They'll delight in the furtive glances between you and your lover as clients and workloads are discussed.

2. You will have a new opportunity to sneak off into hidden areas for brief makeout sessions during working hours. Your lover should simply leave his desk a few minutes before you do so as not to arouse suspicion. Be warned however, that re-entering the office together, wiping your mouths with the backs of your hands, will quickly undo your previous stealth.

3. Going to work will suddenly feel like going on a date. You'll arrive at the office fashionably late, with lipstick freshly applied. You'll attempt to appear more popular and important than you actually are, so as to remind your lover that he has made a good choice, and to prevent him from dumping you for younger, more attractive coworkers.

4. Should you and your lover have a fight, or break up, you will have the opportunity to flounce about the office as if he does not exist. You can also laugh loudly with other co-workers to emphasize to him that you find other people to be excessively amusing, that you are filled with joy in the company of others, but that your heart is a cold, hard stone as far as he is concerned.

5. After hours, you and your lover can amuse yourselves with games such as "Spank Me in the Conference Room" and "Does it Count as Overtime if I'm Naked?"

Posted June 6, 2002 2:05 PM