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File under: Too much information

*Totally gross and graphic discussion of my migraine headache is below. Don''t read this if you're easily grossed out.*

I had a migraine on Saturday. I was just minding my own business, and holy fuck there it was. I had actually just arrived at my friends' house. I sat down, and then I immediately knew it was coming. I grabbed all my stuff, took three aspirin, and ran to my car. I drove home as fast as I could, but it wasn't fast enough. I kept feeling like I was going to vomit; the nausea was so intense I had to really, really concentrate on not getting sick. It was horrid. Driving was unpleasant, because when I get a migraine I get these strange visual effects. The left side of everything starts to look like television static. That's how I know I'm going to get one.

There are two things that happen after that. I either vomit really early on, or I endure a couple of hours of pounding pain and then I vomit. It's hard to tell which kind I'm going to get. Lately, the visual effects on their own seem to trigger this instant barf response from my body. But when I used to get them in high school and in my early twenties, there would be hours of pain before the relief of actually getting sick. And it is a relief. I know that as soon as I vomit I'm at least halfway through my headache. In the past couple of years, the pain of the headache itself hasn't been as bad as it used to be. I can remember when I was about 22 or 23 and my roommate Matt came home and I was laying on the bathroom floor crying for my mom. Last year, at about this time actually, I got a headache soon after I moved into my new apartment. I remember laying in my bed and crying and telling God it was okay if He wanted to take me now. Melodramatic, I know. But I seriously wanted to die.

But the worst part...the absolute worst part (and this is where it gets REALLY gross), is that when I get sick, it's not just once. It's once every hour until the contents of my stomach, from top to bottom, are emptied. This includes acids that I don't think were ever meant to leave the body. Like Saturday, all I had eaten was a croissant and a cup of coffee. And the three aspirin. As soon as I got home, I got rid of all that (including the partially-digested aspirin tablets). The next round was just a bunch of acid stuff. What's scary is that this acid stuff really irritates my throat, to the point where I'm coughing up blood. So I can taste this awful blood taste in my throat, but I can't really get rid of it. And I don't want to drink anything to soothe my throat because I know it's going to be back up again in an hour or less, and that's just unpleasant to think about. It's a no-win situation. I usually end up just trying to gargle some water to ease things up a bit.

Aren't you glad you know all that?

Posted June 9, 2002 10:27 PM | On This Day: 2005