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This has to be one

This has to be one of the creepiest employment ads I've ever seen:

"MARKETING Community Director/ Event Coordinator CPDC, developer of New Small Town Neighborhoods, seeks enthusiastic individual to coordinate community communications and event calendars. Life in our neighborhoods is more than homes and streets, it's the opportunity to partake in broader civic activities with folks you live around. The position of Community Director plans and implements daily events appealing to a variety of age groups and activities, coordinates information on our internet, is the editor of the community newsletter, manages the resident directories, and acts as a concierge extending to local businesses and government. Position requires friendly, outgoing personality, strong writing skills and interpersonal relations. Compensation commensurate to experience."

Okay, so let me get this straight: my job would be to develop a fake sense of "community" by planning neighborhood events for people. Why? Because of course, they're too busy to do the whole "neighborly" thing on their own and goodness knows people can't be trusted to develop relationships with their neighbors on their own in the same way kids can't be trusted to organize their own neighborhood baseball games which is why we have Little League.

And where do these people live? Oh, they live in a New Small Town Neighborhood.

Where can I find one of these New Small Town Neighborhoods (tm)? Why, simply drive 1-2 hours away from the urban center; our NSTN's are right where the wetlands used to be!

And where do I send my resume for this job? Why, Mirage Advertising! That's right, as if you didn't already regard advertisers as total liars -- we've just come right out to tell you that what we create is a mirage. A complete and total fake! And what's our slogan? I'm so glad you asked. Our slogan is, "Deliberate Advertising, Deliberate Marketing, Deliberate Results!" And don't forget...deliberate New Small Town Neighborhoods! For when you want that small town feeling, but with strip malls real close by.

See ya'll soon!

P.S. Please note the use of the words "our internet" in this ad. Apparently, in addition to the New Small Town Neighborhood, they also own the internet. Who knew?!