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This one is way, way,

This one is way, way, way unfinished. To the point where I probably shouldn't even post it yet, but if you feel like reading it and feel like commenting on it, be my guest.

*****

it's because
men make women feel small
with a hand or a voice or
a trinket in the palm of your
hand instead of a phone number
or a kiss an uncomfortable silence
three meaningless words
that aren't what you think they are

it's because
my outsides are too hard
my insides too soft and
no visible cracks
but a heart spreading inside
slowly like yolk

it's because
i can see a mistake
two miles away but still make it
hit the gas
no seatbelt on close my eyes
and pray for green lights
while going through a yellow

it's because
damage control means
never regretting my outside actions
just my inside hopes
let's go

Posted August 20, 2002 3:29 PM | On This Day: 2003

 

4 Comments

Rocking good poem. Yeah, this poem reminds me of something I was saying to Buddha (Gautama Siddharta) only the other day: You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.

that aren't what you think they are slowly like yolk while going through a yellow let's goI love it! You're on the right track.The yolk flipped me until I got to the yellow. And it really worked when I read "Let's go".But from heart to yolk? That's tough to take. Set up "yolk" better and this poem works. Well.Maybe it's the first last line that needs tweeking?

Eternal: Dammit that's a good quote. I'm going to have to hang that one somewhere in my apartment, I think.Bingo: Thanks for the feedback. But, give me more on this "set up the yolk better" thing...I struggled with that a little because I didn't want to make the egg reference too hammer over the head obvious. But, I'm interested to hear what you're thinking is on this. Thanks for the opinion.

Something akin to a food/embryo symbolic concept due to its more ominous capabilities in both its shape and colour connections to the cautionary warnings of the similarly-shaped yellow traffic light.Maybe?