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Lately, I've been encountering terrible

Lately, I've been encountering terrible drivers everywhere I go. A few of my personal favorites:

Mr. Blinky: Frugal with the use of his auto lamps, Blinky stops at a red light and waits until it turns green to indicate that he's about to make a left turn. Oblivious to the cries of the drivers behind him who realize they could have gotten into the right lane to avoid such a delay, Blinky inches into the intersection and waits politely for the traffic to pass. Then, just as unexpectedly as he decided to turn, Mr. Blinky changes his mind again and drives straight instead. But he leaves his blinker on just to remind you not to fuck with him.

Miss Merge: Miss Merge either just got her license, or is 100 years old and can't remember the driving test. When confronted with a ramp leading onto a highway on which cars speed at up to 70mph, Miss Merge decides that the best course of action is to come to a screeching halt and wait for a window large enough to go from 0 to 55 on the 5 feet of ramp that remains. Acceleration is for the birds!

Ass Rider: Naughtiest of all the drivers, the Rider likes to get up on it. Aww, yeah. You can feel his presence, but you can't see his headlights; they're attached to your bumper. The Rider knows that a bitch like you just needs some encouragement to go a little faster, and he's just the guy to do it. Come on, you know you want it!

Posted September 5, 2002 11:16 AM

 

3 Comments

OMG these are funny... My personal pet peve lately has been the multitudes of people on the freeway who, like Mr. Blinky, don't bother turning their turn signals off when they get on the freeway. I swear they must have some kind of brain disorder. I actually got into the left lane to go around someone who had their right blinker on, and they almost sideswiped me as i was pulling up next to them!I hate driving.

hehe. it is funny. try going to chicago or better yet try driving in moscow... no rules whatsoever. fun... you win if you've got a bigger car.;-)

#1 and #2 aren't that common in Germany, but it seems that half of the people on the autobahn are ass riders. If your car is fast enough, you let him pass and play the ass rider on him. JOLLE