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I just drove by a

I just drove by a billboard that said "Alcohol is a trick, not a treat." Exceptionally funny, especially considering that a friend who will remain nameless was in my front seat with her head against the window, fresh from throwing up in my empty popcorn bag at the movie theater. Ah, hangovers...

Had dinner and watched movies with my mom last night. Two notable happenings:

Happening #1
Mom: Hey, so I was reading the personals in New York magazine, and I emailed this guy and told him to check out your website.
Me: *blink*
Mom: Yeah, I just wrote and told him, "Well you're a nice Jewish boy so you understand how mothers are..."
Me: You told him to check out my website?
Mom: Yeah.

There are several interesting things to note about this exchange. First, I come from a Catholic family and we live in Minnesota. Which leads me to wonder why my mom is trolling New York magazine for nice Jewish boys. Second, sending someone to my website is not exactly the best way to make a good impression. I'm usually either talking about what a jackass I am, what a mess my life is, or posting poetry on one of those two topics.

Happening #2
Scene: Kitchen. Mom is on the phone with Dad, who is out of town. I stand by the sink, eating some salad.

Me: [looking up] Holy crap, mom, look at the clock!
[Second hand on the clock is rotating at an alarmingly fast pace.]
Mom: [voice rising] What the hell?! Oh my God!
Me: [squealing, laughing] Oh my God, what's happening?!
Mom & Me: [screaming] Auuugggghhhh!
Dad (audible through phone receiver): You idiots! The clock is just resetting itself.
Mom & Me: Ohhhh....

Turns out they have an atomic clock, which apparently gets a radio signal that keeps it in perfect time with the atomic clock in Colorado. Crazy shit. I want one.

Posted October 27, 2002 5:24 PM



Time flies like an arrow;Fruit flies like a banana.

I'm LMAO here. Inviting my co-workers to read this. We're all laughing.Damn... especially the "You idiots..." part. that's right out of a sit-com. Tell the truth Meg, your family was the inspiration for "That '70s Show..."

I thought we were the inspiration for The Osbournes, actually.