a brief history of irish-girl

I really liked how MJ set up her About page, so I copied her format. Imitation is the sincerest form of plagarism.

1975: Born in South Minneapolis to 2 parents in their mid-twenties with nothing but a couple pairs of bell bottoms to sustain us.

1976: Brother, Austin, is born in June. My mom loves to tell the story of us holding hands in the backseat with our little arms stretched between our carseats.

1977: My first real memory: falling down the stairs at our house on Park Avenue. All I remember is seeing green carpet, and that my dad was at the bottom of the stairs when I landed.

1978: We move to La Crosse, WI. I spend a lot of time hanging out with the old lady next door while she rolls cigarettes for her son. I read my first word, "Toyota." A future dabbling in tobacco and advertising is certain. Though not advertising for tobacco.

1979: I tell my Mom that I want to go to kindergarten. She says I'm only 4, so I can't. I insist. She says if I want to go, I have to get permission from the nuns. I make her take me down to their house (next to the school), march up to the door and tell them I want to go to kindergarten. A few months later, I'm enrolled at Holy Cross. My favorite teacher there is Mrs. Fitzpatrick.

1981: We move to NE Minneapolis. I meet my best friend, Andrea, on the corner of 21st Street and Fillmore Avenue where I'm kicking my brother's ass. I start 2nd grade at St. Charles Borromeo. I discover my hatred for math.

1982: My sister, Nora, is born in December during one of the biggest snowstorms Minneapolis has ever seen. My parents get stuck in the driveway trying to get to the hospital, a fire truck comes to the house to get our mom, and Austin and I sleep through it all. We wake up alone and have ice cream for breakfast.

1983: Nora is so cute that I constantly wake her up from naps to play with her. My mom wonders why the baby takes such short naps. For Christmas, my dad gives me a book he wrote, "Meghan and the Mystery of the Blizzard Baby."

1985: My brother, Patrick, is born. The doctor's term him a "difficult baby." This means that he cries a lot for no discernable reason. The doctor's suggest turning on a vacuum cleaner or hair dryer to soothe him with the low humming noise. As a result, my siblings and I all sleep with a fan running to this day.

1987: We move to La Crescent, Minnesota - a small town across the river from La Crosse, WI. I get to go to public school for the first time in my life.

1988: My first real kiss with my first real boyfriend. Our relationship will later be destroyed when he is sent to Juvi.

1990: We move back to South Minneapolis. My career at Andrea's parents' pet store is ruined by allergies. I eat my first Quarter Pounder with cheese.

1992: I graduate from DeLaSalle high school.

1993: The year of the short-lived nose piercing. I also drop out of college. Or rather, I "take a break." I get fired for the first time in my life, from my job at the SuperValu deli. My parents move again, but stay in South Minneapolis.

1994: I move into my first apartment, affectionately named 32Fiddy. While in this apartment, I will cycle through 4 roommates (Jessica, Matt, Grant, and Austin), and 4 jobs (Discovery Zone, a Montessori school, a Catholic Church, and a marketing agency).

1995: I meet Jerry (later to be dubbed Juggy), an upstairs neighbor at 32Fiddy, who quickly becomes one of the best friends of my life. A true, true friend. I also meet Jennie & Sevda, next door neighbors who will become dear friends.

1998: I rent a house nicknamed "The Shrimp Bucket" with Jennie & Sevda. The fun times are short-lived, as the house is later condemned.

1999: I move back to 32Fiddy. Juggy no longer lives there, so it's not the same.

2000: My first foray into the suburbs (caused by the shortage of city rental property at the time), and living in sin. Parents not pleased. Austin & I graduate (finally!) from the University of Minnesota.

2001: I start a job at Bitstream Underground, the live-in relationship dissolves, and I move into an apartment alone for the first time ever. Two years of swingin' singlehood follow.

2002: The year of the hot-pink hair, inspired by the 1st episode of The Osbournes. Sad, but true.

2003: I meet Jeremy, quit smoking, move into his house, get engaged, lose a job, lose a car (company-owned), go to Italy, get a new job, get a new car.

2004: I hit my goal at Weight Watchers, get married, and go to Costa Rica. My baby brother joins the Navy.

2005: Ring in the new year as an old married broad. Add blonde streak to hair like Cruela DeVil. Start new job. Dye hair pink. Get knocked up. Dye hair brown. Buy new house. Austin moves to Philly, Nora moves to NYC, Paddy stationed in Florida. I remain the lone Minneapolis sibling. Blogging begins to lag.

2006: Deliver our baby girl, Beatrix. Blogging sharply declines.

2008: Kill blog due to embarrassing lack of posts. Farewell, cruel world!